1.
A little Johnny hears the word whorehouse in school and asks his father what it means.
His father is quite shocked, and replies,
“Well, uh… you go there to…have a good time.”
The little Johnny starts screaming and hollering that he wants to go th
A little Johnny hears the word whorehouse in school and asks his father what it means.
His father is quite shocked, and replies,
“Well, uh… you go there to…have a good time.”
The little Johnny starts screaming and hollering that he wants to go th
2.
The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills.The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that.But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel,
The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills.The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that.But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel,
3.
An Italian woman was leaving a convenience store with her espresso when she noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery:A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.Behind th
An Italian woman was leaving a convenience store with her espresso when she noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery:A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.Behind th
4.
Two men were marooned on an Island.One man pased back and forth worried and scared while the other man sat back and was sunning himself.The first man said to the second man, “arn't you afraid we are about to die.”“No,” said the second man, “for you see I
Two men were marooned on an Island.One man pased back and forth worried and scared while the other man sat back and was sunning himself.The first man said to the second man, “arn't you afraid we are about to die.”“No,” said the second man, “for you see I
5.
There was an old man who had a dream one night that he would be protected from a ravaging storm that would engulf his whole village.The next day, as expected, a terrible storm came to his region.The first day a neighbor of his offered help for him to flee
There was an old man who had a dream one night that he would be protected from a ravaging storm that would engulf his whole village.The next day, as expected, a terrible storm came to his region.The first day a neighbor of his offered help for him to flee
6.
“I can't speak to my wife directly as she might find it offensive, given our old age” he says to the doc.“There's a simple trick you can try to determine her hearing,” explains the doctor
“I can't speak to my wife directly as she might find it offensive, given our old age” he says to the doc.“There's a simple trick you can try to determine her hearing,” explains the doctor
7.
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning.The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasp
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning.The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasp
8.
The subway car was packed.
It was rush hour, and many people were forced to stand.
One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and said,
“Sir, if you don’t stop poking me with your thing, I’m going to the cops!”
“I don’t know w
The subway car was packed.
It was rush hour, and many people were forced to stand.
One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and said,
“Sir, if you don’t stop poking me with your thing, I’m going to the cops!”
“I don’t know w
9.
… he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 poundsThe man buys a round of drinks as his wife just gave birth to typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 poundsCongratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamation
… he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 poundsThe man buys a round of drinks as his wife just gave birth to typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 poundsCongratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamation
10.
Three friends die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the Gates of Heaven.
Before entering, they are each asked a question by St. Peter himself.
“When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hea
Three friends die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the Gates of Heaven.
Before entering, they are each asked a question by St. Peter himself.
“When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hea
11.
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.“I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menuJust bring me a dirty fork from a previous customerI'll smell it and
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.“I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menuJust bring me a dirty fork from a previous customerI'll smell it and
12.
Hi Men's Helpline,I really need your advice on a serious problem:I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.The usual signs: If the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot.I try to stay
Hi Men's Helpline,I really need your advice on a serious problem:I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.The usual signs: If the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot.I try to stay
13.
With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65-year-old woman has a baby.All of her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family.When they ask to see the baby, the new mom says, “Not yet!” A little later, they ask to see the baby agai
With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65-year-old woman has a baby.All of her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family.When they ask to see the baby, the new mom says, “Not yet!” A little later, they ask to see the baby agai
14.
A recently divorced man, heartbroken and down on his luck, comes across a magical genie lampThinking his luck has finally changed, he rubs the lamp and out pops a genie.“I am an all and powerful genieYou get three wishes, but I must tell you in advance, a
A recently divorced man, heartbroken and down on his luck, comes across a magical genie lampThinking his luck has finally changed, he rubs the lamp and out pops a genie.“I am an all and powerful genieYou get three wishes, but I must tell you in advance, a
15.
Tired of the modern world, a businessman visited a monastery to seek a simpler life.
Entering the monastery, he saw monks in simple robes practicing their meditations and tending to the grounds.
“Ahh,” he thought, “here is a life free from distracti
Tired of the modern world, a businessman visited a monastery to seek a simpler life.
Entering the monastery, he saw monks in simple robes practicing their meditations and tending to the grounds.
“Ahh,” he thought, “here is a life free from distracti
16.
A naturopathic doctor opens up a wellness clinicHe puts a sign outside that says ‘GET TREATMENT FOR $20 – IF NOT CURED, GET BACK $100.'A lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.Lawyer: “I have lost my sense of taste.”
A naturopathic doctor opens up a wellness clinicHe puts a sign outside that says ‘GET TREATMENT FOR $20 – IF NOT CURED, GET BACK $100.'A lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.Lawyer: “I have lost my sense of taste.”
17.
However, his route takes him past a particular corner on which a prostitute is always standing, offering her services.He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.“One hundred and fifty pounds!” she'd shout.“No, f
However, his route takes him past a particular corner on which a prostitute is always standing, offering her services.He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.“One hundred and fifty pounds!” she'd shout.“No, f
18.
Two unemployed guys are talking.
One says: “I’m going to become a lion-tamer.”
The other replies, “That’s crazy, you don’t know nothing about no lion taming.”
“Yes I do!”
“Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roar
Two unemployed guys are talking.
One says: “I’m going to become a lion-tamer.”
The other replies, “That’s crazy, you don’t know nothing about no lion taming.”
“Yes I do!”
“Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roar
19.
A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation.When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in the 1940s,She read an adver
A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation.When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in the 1940s,She read an adver
20.
There once was a girl who wasn’t feeling very pretty so she went to a genie to make her pretty.
The genie told her that to make her feel pretty, he would make it so that every time someone apologized to her her b*obs would increase by one size.
So t
There once was a girl who wasn’t feeling very pretty so she went to a genie to make her pretty.
The genie told her that to make her feel pretty, he would make it so that every time someone apologized to her her b*obs would increase by one size.
So t
21.
But after college one moves to Georgia and the other to California.They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other.At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch.“Where you wanna go?”“Hooters.”“W
But after college one moves to Georgia and the other to California.They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other.At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch.“Where you wanna go?”“Hooters.”“W
22.
Nasreddin Hodja had a buffalo whose horns were set wide apart.Hodja often felt an urge to sit on the animal's head between the horns, but never dared try it.One day the animal came and sat down very near him.Hodja threw caution to the winds and seizing th
Nasreddin Hodja had a buffalo whose horns were set wide apart.Hodja often felt an urge to sit on the animal's head between the horns, but never dared try it.One day the animal came and sat down very near him.Hodja threw caution to the winds and seizing th
23.
A drunk staggers into a diner and orders a couple of eggs.
The waiter, suspecting that they’ve run out, goes back to question the chef.
“Hey, Gus, do we have any more eggs?”
Gus replies,
“I ran out of fresh eggs, I only have two rotten eggs le
A drunk staggers into a diner and orders a couple of eggs.
The waiter, suspecting that they’ve run out, goes back to question the chef.
“Hey, Gus, do we have any more eggs?”
Gus replies,
“I ran out of fresh eggs, I only have two rotten eggs le
24.
A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked at the door.A boy, about 9, opened the door“Is your dad or mum home?” said the farmer.“No, they went to town.”“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”“No, he went with Mum and Dad.”The farmer stood
A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked at the door.A boy, about 9, opened the door“Is your dad or mum home?” said the farmer.“No, they went to town.”“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”“No, he went with Mum and Dad.”The farmer stood
25.
A ventriloquist is performing and makes a blonde joke.
A blonde woman in the audience is offended and says “How does my hair color affect my intelligence and value as a person?”
The ventriloquist apologizes and promises not to make any more blonde j
A ventriloquist is performing and makes a blonde joke.
A blonde woman in the audience is offended and says “How does my hair color affect my intelligence and value as a person?”
The ventriloquist apologizes and promises not to make any more blonde j
26.
A young wife from Montana had an appointment with her doctor to ask for advice on how to treat her husband's lack of s.x drive ever since his motorcycle accident 12 months ago.“Have you tried Viagra?” the doctor asked.“Not a chance,” the young lady replie
A young wife from Montana had an appointment with her doctor to ask for advice on how to treat her husband's lack of s.x drive ever since his motorcycle accident 12 months ago.“Have you tried Viagra?” the doctor asked.“Not a chance,” the young lady replie
27.
Sherlock Holmes and DrWatson decide to go on a camping tripAfter dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
Sherlock Holmes and DrWatson decide to go on a camping tripAfter dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
28.
One dark night in Dublin a fire started inside the local chemical plantIn a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.When the fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical compan
One dark night in Dublin a fire started inside the local chemical plantIn a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.When the fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical compan
29.
Two senior gentlemen are working at a sewage treatment plant.
One guy goes off to lunch and comes back to find his buddy standing above a vat of sewage with a long rake.
“What are you doing?!” he yells
“My coat fell in!” his buddy yells back
“
Two senior gentlemen are working at a sewage treatment plant.
One guy goes off to lunch and comes back to find his buddy standing above a vat of sewage with a long rake.
“What are you doing?!” he yells
“My coat fell in!” his buddy yells back
“
30.
So, today I went over to the local Gun shop to get a Colt 9mm handgun for home/personal protection.When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.”Making a mental note to complain to the government about gun cont
So, today I went over to the local Gun shop to get a Colt 9mm handgun for home/personal protection.When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.”Making a mental note to complain to the government about gun cont
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