1.
Doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road.The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up,helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask.The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed
Doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road.The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up,helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask.The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed
2.
The blonde wife came home from her first day commuting into the city.
Her husband noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, “Honey, are you feeling all right?” “Not really,” she replied.
“I’m nauseated from sitting backward on the train.
The blonde wife came home from her first day commuting into the city.
Her husband noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, “Honey, are you feeling all right?” “Not really,” she replied.
“I’m nauseated from sitting backward on the train.
3.
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things.“Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” He asked his mother.“He thinks a lot” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things.“Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” He asked his mother.“He thinks a lot” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to
4.
One day Nasreddin Hodja quarrelled with his wife.He shouted at her till she could not bear it and fled to her neighbour's houseThe Hodja followed her there.The neighbours managed to placate the angry husband and served the couple tea and sweetmeats.When t
One day Nasreddin Hodja quarrelled with his wife.He shouted at her till she could not bear it and fled to her neighbour's houseThe Hodja followed her there.The neighbours managed to placate the angry husband and served the couple tea and sweetmeats.When t
5.
A schoolteacher used to take a short nap every afternoon.When his pupils asked him why he did so, he said that he went to dreamland to meet ancient sages.One extremely hot day some of the pupils fell asleep in the afternoon.When the school-teacher chided
A schoolteacher used to take a short nap every afternoon.When his pupils asked him why he did so, he said that he went to dreamland to meet ancient sages.One extremely hot day some of the pupils fell asleep in the afternoon.When the school-teacher chided
6.
Guy decides to surprise his wife by coming home from his vacation a day early.
He’s happy to see that she’s still up, as the lights are on in the bedroom, so he grabs the flowers and the chocolate, quietly let’s himself through the front door, goes up
Guy decides to surprise his wife by coming home from his vacation a day early.
He’s happy to see that she’s still up, as the lights are on in the bedroom, so he grabs the flowers and the chocolate, quietly let’s himself through the front door, goes up
7.
The MI6, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals.
The Secretary General of the UN decides to set them a test.
He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in.
The MI6, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals.
The Secretary General of the UN decides to set them a test.
He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in.
8.
A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm.She didn't panic, however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her:“If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow-plow to come by, and follow it.”Sure enough, pretty soon a snow-
A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm.She didn't panic, however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her:“If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow-plow to come by, and follow it.”Sure enough, pretty soon a snow-
9.
Whispering firmly to the dying man, the priest said,“Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!”The dying man said nothing.The priest repeated his order.Still the dying man said nothing.The priest asked, “Why do you refuse to denou
Whispering firmly to the dying man, the priest said,“Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!”The dying man said nothing.The priest repeated his order.Still the dying man said nothing.The priest asked, “Why do you refuse to denou
10.
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking marijuana and appeared in court.
The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, I’d like to give you a second chance.
I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug us
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking marijuana and appeared in court.
The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, I’d like to give you a second chance.
I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug us
11.
We were fooling around, the passion started to heat up, when she suddenly says: “I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”I said, “WHAT? Then what was all that about?!?”Then she uttered the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear…“Y
We were fooling around, the passion started to heat up, when she suddenly says: “I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”I said, “WHAT? Then what was all that about?!?”Then she uttered the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear…“Y
12.
A boss said to his secretary, “I want to make love with you, but I will make it very fast.
I’ll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you down to pick it up, I’ll be done.”
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the stor
A boss said to his secretary, “I want to make love with you, but I will make it very fast.
I’ll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you down to pick it up, I’ll be done.”
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the stor
13.
Nasrudin is walking past a cave when he sees a yogi, deep in meditation, and he asks the yogi what he is searching forThe yogi says:‘I study the animals and have learned many lessons from them that can transform a man's life.'‘A fish once saved my life,'
Nasrudin is walking past a cave when he sees a yogi, deep in meditation, and he asks the yogi what he is searching forThe yogi says:‘I study the animals and have learned many lessons from them that can transform a man's life.'‘A fish once saved my life,'
14.
Two math professors are in a restaurantOne argues that the average person does not know any math beyond high school.The other argues that the average person knows some more advanced mathJust then, the first one gets up to use the rest room.The second prof
Two math professors are in a restaurantOne argues that the average person does not know any math beyond high school.The other argues that the average person knows some more advanced mathJust then, the first one gets up to use the rest room.The second prof
15.
They stop at a gun shop to get all the gear they will need. The clerk helping them out decided to have a little fun with the newbies.CLERK: Best way to hunt a moose is in one of these female moose costumes. You both get in it, make a moose mating call,
They stop at a gun shop to get all the gear they will need. The clerk helping them out decided to have a little fun with the newbies.CLERK: Best way to hunt a moose is in one of these female moose costumes. You both get in it, make a moose mating call,
16.
Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber… He awoke before the Pearly Gates where saint Peter said,”You died in your sleep Ralph.” Ralph was stunned.
“I’m dead?No I can’t be! I’ve got too much
Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber… He awoke before the Pearly Gates where saint Peter said,”You died in your sleep Ralph.” Ralph was stunned.
“I’m dead?No I can’t be! I’ve got too much
17.
On their first date, a man asked his companion if she'd like a drink with dinner.“Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?” she said.Later, he offered her a cigarette.“Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?” she said again On the drive
On their first date, a man asked his companion if she'd like a drink with dinner.“Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?” she said.Later, he offered her a cigarette.“Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?” she said again On the drive
18.
In Mexico City, the 200 meter final was runAmerican (black) athletes Tommie Smith and John Carlos came first and third, while Australian (white) Peter Norman won the second.While they were waiting for the medal ceremony, Carlos came to Peter Norman and as
In Mexico City, the 200 meter final was runAmerican (black) athletes Tommie Smith and John Carlos came first and third, while Australian (white) Peter Norman won the second.While they were waiting for the medal ceremony, Carlos came to Peter Norman and as
19.
However, his route takes him past a particular corner on which a prostitute is always standing, offering her services.He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.“One hundred and fifty pounds!” she'd shout.“No, f
However, his route takes him past a particular corner on which a prostitute is always standing, offering her services.He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.“One hundred and fifty pounds!” she'd shout.“No, f
20.
An Italian woman was leaving a convenience store with her espresso when she noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery:A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.Behind th
An Italian woman was leaving a convenience store with her espresso when she noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery:A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.Behind th
21.
As MrSmith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him.He called for the three men he trusted most, his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman.MrSmith told them, “I'm
As MrSmith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him.He called for the three men he trusted most, his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman.MrSmith told them, “I'm
22.
A team of archaeologists were working in Jerusalem when they found a slab of rock with five figures carved on itIn order the figures were:A Woman. A Donkey. A Shovel. A Fish. A Star of David.After months of studying the rock and figures on it, the lea
A team of archaeologists were working in Jerusalem when they found a slab of rock with five figures carved on itIn order the figures were:A Woman. A Donkey. A Shovel. A Fish. A Star of David.After months of studying the rock and figures on it, the lea
23.
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passengers had been killed.As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car.The officer looked down at the monkey and said “I wish you c
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passengers had been killed.As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car.The officer looked down at the monkey and said “I wish you c
24.
A man asked his doctor if he thought he'd live to be a hundred.The doctor asked the man,“Do you smoke or drink?”“No,” he replied,“I've never done either.”“Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women? ” inquired the doctor.“No, I've never do
A man asked his doctor if he thought he'd live to be a hundred.The doctor asked the man,“Do you smoke or drink?”“No,” he replied,“I've never done either.”“Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women? ” inquired the doctor.“No, I've never do
25.
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery,and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.“Yes Dad, what is it?”“Don't be nervous, son; do your
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery,and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.“Yes Dad, what is it?”“Don't be nervous, son; do your
26.
So, today I went over to the local Gun shop to get a Colt 9mm handgun for home/personal protection.When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.”Making a mental note to complain to the government about gun cont
So, today I went over to the local Gun shop to get a Colt 9mm handgun for home/personal protection.When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.”Making a mental note to complain to the government about gun cont
27.
One day this Swedish guy walks into a dingy little storefront travel agency, holds up a page out of a newspaper, and says: “You say in this ad that you have a voonderful luxury cruise for only $69.95I vant to go on this voonderful luxury cruise.”The guy b
One day this Swedish guy walks into a dingy little storefront travel agency, holds up a page out of a newspaper, and says: “You say in this ad that you have a voonderful luxury cruise for only $69.95I vant to go on this voonderful luxury cruise.”The guy b
28.
One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her.
“My daughter, you have pleased me greatly.
Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others.
I have
One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her.
“My daughter, you have pleased me greatly.
Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others.
I have
29.
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip.When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't mis
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip.When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't mis
30.
A young boy, about seven years old, was at the corner grocery picking out a box of laundry detergent.The grocer walked over and trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.“No laundry” the boy said, “I'm going to wash my dog.”“Bu
A young boy, about seven years old, was at the corner grocery picking out a box of laundry detergent.The grocer walked over and trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.“No laundry” the boy said, “I'm going to wash my dog.”“Bu
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